Lonliness is a Choice

                            It was around 10 years ago. My daughter was a little kid then, she is still a little kid to me though. The company that I worked then was a very people centric company and it ran several initiatives for employee engagement and motivation. One such initiative that they used to diligently administer was Family Day. I can hear your mind which says "What is so special about family day? every company does this?". Of course yes I don't deny the fact that every company does this. There are many reasons why an employee would wait for this event. Many companies ensure that on this day they ensure make the employee proud in their family's presence. Here in this company they used to do several things that made the families feel proud in front of the employees. I can go on and on but that would make me deviate from the topic so let me return back to the crux.

                            On one such Family Day I had taken my wife and kids to work. As you know yes we were allowed to take them in, show them around and also take them to our desks and show them what we do, how we do who are our neighbors and so on. I took my family around the office, we had 3 blocks to cover. I showed them the cafeteria, Gym, auditorium and the garden which had a walking track. "When are we going to see your desk" I heard my wife's voice loud on my ears "Let us go now!" I led them to my workstation.

                             I took them around the floor and then we approached my workstation. Well I am trying to be humble here. You guessed it right I had my own office. I proudly took them in and of course was proudly showing my desk, my phone, paintings on the walls, the plush furniture and my own!! printer. My wife who was also a working professional knows what these things mean and she was signaling with her eyes "Ok Mr. Big I understand, you don't have to show off too much". My son was busy in his own world trying all kinds of creative stuff on my white board with every marker he could find. "Don't you have green?" he asked with a lot of excitement. While I opened my cabinet to fetch the green marker for him I noticed the restlessness in my daughter. 

                           "Whats up? you look so disconnected I approached my daughter. Thanks to my HR brain which helps me sense who is not engaged. She took her eyes of the floor and looked at me with her surprise filled eyes "Why are you sitting alone". she asked. "Well!! I am not sitting alone but I sit in a private space" I tried to manage her striking question. "While they all are sitting together and chatting happily, you are sitting alone here in a closed room" she built further. And this time it was not a question but it was a statement. She further added to her statement "I am sure most times you must be feeling bored and lonely". She did not wait for my response but ran to the floor to join the guys who were having fun singing songs.

                            I have read a quote "It feels lonely at the top".  My daughters statement made me reflect deeper on this. Being lonely or feeling lonely does not happen by default or by design of the positon we have in the company or the hierarchical  level we are placed in the organization but it is an absolute choice we make. This was a great learning for me at that moment. It brought in a big change in my work style. I started stepping out of my office and reaching out to people, have conversations, chat with them and sometimes just crack a joke. It made a big difference in the way people looked at me, approached me and surprisingly it had a big impact on my morale too. While all other employees had different reasons to remember that Family Day I had a reason for never forgetting that day in my life because I learnt a lesson from my own daughter "LONELINESS IS A CHOICE".